I Wish I Knew Earlier

“Just breathe, Sofa. You’re a mom now, so be responsible for your daughter and live like you did before!”

I remind myself of this when everything gets hard to pass.

And I live, but everything has changed. I lost myself. I just don’t know how to do everything alone. But, again, I’ve survived.

I wish I knew earlier… the words my brother told me after everything got tough: Why is this happening to me?

My brother said, “If it’s too good to be true, it’s probably a fraud.”

I deeply regret it. I don’t think I’ve never disappointed my brother like that before. But, I couldn’t answer. I was in tears.

I’ve kept those words with me ever since, and I always will. I don’t give my expectations to anyone anymore. I just keep my faith in myself. I learn day by day, stronger than yesterday.

But, I’m human. My future is like a mystery and I have to write it myself. Whether I live or die today, it’s my decision. I don’t know what the next round will be. I just live day by day. I have my dua, of course, but it’s not about me anymore. Everything I plan and do now is for my daughter.

So, for Sofa, who has lost herself—everything will be okay. Day by day, it will be fine. Just breathe, just live like before. You’re a mother. Live like you have everything this world has to offer. Everything will be easier for you. You’ll get through this!

February 4, 2025

The sleepless nights will pass. Your tears and worries will fade away too.